I can type two-handed today only because Jacob saved me from a rare, left-handed form of Lethal Wrist-Destroying Virus (LWDV).
Yesterday I received a bunch of hoodies and long-sleeved tees from shirt.woot. These items were only available for holiday orders, and I was really excited to buy some!
Unfortunately, it seems like somebody always has to spoil the fun. One of the hoodies (actually, a Wootie - a hoodie with the woot symbol ! on the back) arrived with the left cuff dusted with LWDV. I know this not because there's any cuff left to send to the CDC, but because Jacob told me. After eating the cuff.
No, he's fine, thanks for asking. Dogs' gut fluids are much more acidic than ours, you know. For dealing with the various uncooked and unrefrigerated foods that they eat when running free. It kills stuff they eat that would kill us if we ate it.
So, no Wootie for me. If I wore it, I'm sure I'd be asked whether I have Pit Bulls, which are banned in Denver. And regardless how I answered, they'd probably sic Animal Control on me anyway, just to make sure, and then I'd be dealing with the old "That's four dogs, mister, not three dogs and one sheep ... and that's one more dog than you're allowed."
And shirt.woot's holiday ordering period is over. So no Wootie for me - in public, anyway.
Probably not in private, either. Jacob says he got all the LWDV ... but can I trust him?